Do you have a Goblin living in your closet?
Your Goblin—your inner critic—probably has a whole slew of catch-phrases ready to tear you down in any situation. These might be classics like, “you’ve GOT to be kidding,” or “what will people think?” or “that’s impossible.” Or they might be more personal, like “your sister would never do that,” or “your father would be so ashamed, “or “if you were more like so-and-so, you wouldn’t have to worry about this.”
Maybe these limiting beliefs come from your childhood, maybe from experiences later in life. Maybe you tell yourself that the voice of your inner critic is practical, reasonable. But chances are, it’s only holding you back.
Fall is a great time to scare away your Goblin—to get rid of beliefs that no longer suit you. Think of it as cleaning out your closet before the winter season. Will you keep the shoes that give you blisters, the clothes that no longer fit, or the purse with a big hole in the bottom? Probably not. So why hang onto the beliefs that blister your confidence, the old-fashioned sentiments that no longer fit you (i.e., “it’s a man’s world,” or “I’m a woman/I’m not good enough/ I’m too old, so It’s a hard business, or I’ll never make it in this business”)?
Take a good, long look into the back of your closet. What’s really hiding back there? Shedding some light on your goblin can help you recognize the limiting beliefs that hold you back. If you’re hanging onto those uncomfortable shoes, those “skinny” jeans, ask yourself why. Chances are it’s about perspective. Instead of looking at them as lost opportunities—or reminders of who you could be/used to be/would be if only you were different—toss them into the donation bin. Let your emptied closet be a place for new stuff to land: stuff that fits you better, and serves who you are right now. Who knows: instead of a goblin, you might find an angel!
When tackling your limiting beliefs (your goblin) it’s really important not to play the blame game: that only plants the seeds for more goblin to grow. Try not to criticize yourself for old habits or perspectives. Instead, think of the identification of limiting beliefs as a process of liberation—a jailbreak, if you will.
Your action step this week is to listen for your goblin, and write down everything she/he says. Chances are, when that inner critic acts up, she’ll/he’ll be saying the same things over and over again (no one ever said Goblin’s were smart- although they can be tricky!). Soon, you’ll learn to recognize these limiting beliefs for what they are, and you’ll be able to pull them out of your closet for good.
Someone once said to me, “you’re only carrying around that load of bricks because you choose to. If you don’t want to carry it anymore, just set it down and walk away.” Whether you visualize your limiting beliefs as old clothes, or bricks, or something else altogether, the only thing you have to do to be free of them is set them aside. What does your goblin say? Send me a confidential email DQ@CoachDQ.com