Career Coaching

Posts Tagged ‘career coaching’

3 Toxic Work Situations That Could Be Affecting You In Your Job

Monday, May 16th, 2011

I recently gave a seminar for MBA alumni at Simmons College. When we started the talk, I asked the attendees, How many of you are currently in a job search?. A smattering of them raised their hands. How many of you own your own businesses? Again, a few hands went up.

Then, I asked, How many of you work, or have worked, in what you feel is a toxic environment? Nearly everyone in the room raised their hands. When I asked, How many of you have been in that situation twice or more? the response was almost the same.

My immediate feeling was one of shock. But then, when I thought about how many of my clients struggle to free themselves from negative professional patterning, it began to make sense. Over and over, people end up in the same situations, with the same issues. It’s like that song by The Who: Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

So, what makes us gravitate toward unhealthy work environments? Do we like being used and abused?

The answer may be yes. Subconsciously, we tend to seek out situations that reinforce our ingrained patterns and insecurities. We do it in marriages, in friendships, and at work. We develop a love-hate relationship with toxicity a co-dependence, if you will.

If you consistently find yourself in the same old boat with the same boss and the same stack of problems, it’s time to look within. The solution to your problems probably doesn’t lie in finding a new job, but in finding a new perspective about how you operate within your job.

Toxic Situation #1: You’re starved for recognition. No matter how hard you work, you can’t seem to get anyone to notice. Your solution is to work harder, faster, better, and longer because someone has to pay attention eventually. Possible Cause: Fear of Success. Maybe you think you want recognition but are you uncomfortable with complements when they come? Do you deflect praise with modesty? Are you afraid that, if your efforts are recognized, that you’ll have to step up and become what you know you’re capable of being? Is it easier for you to labor in obscurity than to admit that you’re not operating at your full potential?

Toxic Situation #2: You’re being abused. There’s a difference between a boss who fails to recognize your efforts and a boss who is outright cruel. If you’re in a situation where your superiors routinely belittle you, embarrass you, or take advantage of you, it’s time to take a good long look at yourself. While their behavior is probably a result of their own insecurities and issues, you’re the one who is putting up with it and therefore acknowledging that such treatment is acceptable to you. Possible Cause: Familiarity. Ask yourself why you feel it’s acceptable for others to treat you this way. What do you feel you’re proving by trying to please them despite their actions toward you? Be warned: these simple questions can bring up some deep issues. Most of the people I’ve worked with who endure abuse at the hands of their employers have also endured abuse in other areas of their lives whether at the hands of a parent, a sibling, or a spouse.

Toxic Situation #3: You’re always butting heads with your boss. Some arguments can be healthy. But if you’re always at odds with your boss, chances are there’s a power struggle happening there and that you’re contributing to it by engaging in it. Possible Cause: Jealousy. This works two ways: either your boss is threatened by your competence, or you’re threatened by your bosses competence. Sometimes, we deal with our fear of being wrong by shouting louder that we’re right. If your boss is intimidated by you, it’s really not your problem but instead of feeling superior about it, try to be compassionate. If you’re jealous of your bosses position, power, or prestige, ask yourself why you want these things. What do you feel you need to prove by sustaining conflict? Who do you hope will notice that you’re right and your boss is wrong and why is it important to you that they notice?

Of course, there are numerous other toxic situations that occur in the workplace; those above are just a few of the most common. Recognizing your own patterns in work and in life can go a long way toward helping you create a healthy, sustainable, and rewarding work situation.

If you want to learn more about how coaching can help you identify and release these patterns, read J.F.s case study[B1] . By getting to know herself, J.F. was able to move beyond the cycle of toxicity and into a job she truly enjoys!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG OR WEBSITE? Please do, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Dawn Quesnel, CPCC, PCC, known as Coach DQ, is a professional coach, radio show host and workshop leader. Through the use of her B.R.I.D.G.E. programs she helps marketing, advertising, and creative entrepreneurs navigate career or business transition while maintaining a healthy career-life balance. Her core belief that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, consistently leads clients to uncover hidden resources and strengths. B.R.I.D.G.E. the gap and accelerate your career so you can love your life now! Visit www.CareerLifeBalance.net or http://www.coachdq.com today or for more information email me.

Potholes — Tolerations Part 2

Thursday, April 7th, 2011

What Are You Tolerating?

Continuing our discussion of tolerations…

Below are some common tolerations cited by my clients and colleagues. Maybe some of these potholes are also in your road.

What people are tolerating at home:

“I need to create a financial plan for my family.”
“I need to take care of the house projects.”
“I need to exercise more — get to the gym.”
“I need to exercise more control over personal finances.”
“I need to clean out the attic/basement/garage.”
“I need to help the kids with school more.”
“I need to take a vacation.”

What people are tolerating at work:

“No raises.”
“No positive reinforcement; even after clients have told me they have gone out of their way to tell my boss they are happy with the work I have done, he never acknowledges it in any way.”
“Unfulfilling work culture and lack of mental challange.”
“Throughout my tenure at my company, I have felt that I can do 100 things acceptably, but when one thing is identified as not good enough in so many words, it becomes a big deal.”
“I wait until I get mad to leave a place.”
Other people’s ‘poor me’ syndrome.”
“Unprofitable professional relationships.”
“Personality dynamics.” –Need I say more about that one!

What people are tolerating personally:

“Waiting to receive permission before acting.”
“Not thinking things thoroughly.”
“Not waiting to learn from my mistakes before taking actions.”
“Waiting for events to happen – being reactive.”
“Letting other people lead the way.”
“My laziness.”
“My internalizing and over-thinking.”
“My inability to keep and meet goals.”
“My weakness for sweets.”
“My lack of willpower .”
“My closed-off attitude – not being willing to open up.”
“My reluctance to try new things more often.”
“My lack of empathy.”
“Not verbalizing my thoughts and acting on them.”
“Not making the most of every moment.”
“Destructive or draining personal relationships.”

All of the above issues could be resolved by making an actionable plan and sticking to it. To quote Nike’s tagline: “Just do it.” No amount of thinking will resolve nagging issues or create the change you crave: you have to act on your thoughts.

If you recognize any of the above tolerations in your own life, make a list of three things you can do to move toward a resolution. Once you fill the potholes, you can start looking ahead to where your road leads!

You can take an inventory of your tolerations by downloading this exercise What Am I Tolerating and call me for your complimentary coaching consult.

Potholes — Tolerations Part 1

Tuesday, March 29th, 2011

We all have stuff we don’t like to do. And when it comes to work, there are definitely some tasks that are more pleasant than others.

I call the things we don’t like to do “tolerations.” If you don’t stay on top of them, these things can puncture your success bubble as surely as a monster Massachusetts pothole can pop your front tire.

Potholes like tolerations can be deceiving. Metaphorically speaking, when they sit on your desk, your tolerations crumble away at your energy every time your mind drives over it, making your day less efficient. Instead of smooth sailing down a nicely paved highway, your daily route suddenly looks like an obstacle course. You’re constantly swerving around unfinished tasks, trying to avoid the potholes and bumps. The more tolerations (potholes) in your road, the slower and more challenging your progress becomes, plus, the longer it takes to get there. Or worse, you’re driving too fast and miss or get hit by a big one!

You own your own road. So you’ll have to fill in the holes yourself, hire someone else to do the work, tow you out, and/or pay the price in repairs down the road.

Here are some common tolerations that might be eating away at your pavement.

Bookkeeping
Budgeting
Collections
Editing your resume
Writing your business plan
Filing
Cleaning out your inbox
Organizing your desk
Accepting clients you call “P.I.A.” clients (Pains in the Ass*)

* You recognize the signs everytime, trust your intuition. Life is too short. Why tolerate it! Patch that business pothole

Sometimes, we can hang onto tolerations in order to justify our sense of suffering. When your road is full of ruts, you might feel a bit noble about your burdens — as in, “I have so much to do! Look how hard my road is to travel!” In the end, though, this is an expensive source of self-esteem, and it can block you from real progress. After all, what are you really getting out of martyrdom?

There can be a kind of joy in the menial and frustrating tasks that can become our potholes. When you finally do finish that bookkeeping, it will probably feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

A case in point: I’ve been meaning to populate this years budget, which means reviewing all of last year’s numbers and every month since December it would drive through my mind. Then I’d justify it by saying in my head to myself, “I’ll have a better sense after the 1st quarter.” I decided it’s time to fill in the pothole. So, last night I finally compared actuals to budget and to my surprise I am down $150 per month in expenses. When you sit down and bang out your business plan, the clarity you gain might supply the momentum to move you forward to the next phase. Now I can allocate those extra funds to something else and reinvest in my business.

Are you tolerating outstanding receivables? When you start making those collection calls, you might feel a sense of empowerment, because you know what? You do deserve to get paid!

Cataloging your tolerations can be really enlightening. Some of my clients have had transformational breakthroughs around this exercise. After all, seeing the potholes is the first and most important step toward fixing them!

You can take an inventory of your tolerations by downloading this exercise What Am I Tolerating and call me for your complimentary coaching consult.

Are You Distracted?

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011

Did you know that the average person only works about 2 – 3 hours per day?

I know. You get up early, take your place behind your desk, and spend your day dealing with whatever comes up. By the time five o’clock comes, you’re exhausted. But how much of your workday is actually devoted to work — and how much is spent dealing with distraction?

This is a common theme among my job search clients. “I want to meet my goals for networking/phone calls/prospecting/working on my resume,” they tell me, “but all these other things keep coming up!” It’s easy to see how this can happen. We don’t live in bubbles (well, most of us don’t, anyway) and so there is always the chance that distractions will come into our space and break our focus.

Here are some common distractions:

Facebook
LinkedIn
Text messages
Phone calls unrelated to the project at hand
Small talk with coworkers
E-mail and e-mail notifications
Internet browsing

Of course, all of these things should have a place in your schedule, especially if you’re working your networking pipeline. But you don’t necessarily need to attend to them the second they pop up. Would it really be a bad thing to turn off your text message and e-mail notifications for two or three hours a day? When you receive a distracting phone call, could you simply let it go to voice-mail — or say, “Can I call you back later, when I can give you my full attention?” If you’re immersed in a “dollars now” activity, listening to your friend’s Best Vegas Weekend Ever stories won’t necessarily serve you (or her, since you’re not giving her your full attention).

Some distractions are inevitable. But if you’re feeling scattered, there are steps you can take to control the chaos.

Hang a “Do Not Disturb” sign on your office door for one hour in the morning, and one hour in the afternoon. (I designed a cute little sign that reads F.O.C.U.S. — Fulfilling Obligations! Caution: Under Strict deadlines!)
Turn off the text message, e-mail notifications, and Facebook alerts on your mobile phone and/or iPad. You might choose to create an e-mail autoresponder that says something like, “In order to be more efficient, I will now be answering e-mail only at 12:00 PM and 4:00 PM.” If someone urgently needs a response from you, they can contact you by telephone.
If you work from home, don’t let pets come in to snuggle. If you have older children, ask that they respect your work space when they get home from school (or design your work hours around their schedules, so you can give them your full attention).
Try not to engage your coworkers in small talk unless you really want to be distracted. You can always chitchat on your breaks, over lunch, or outside of the office.
Don’t update your Facebook, LinkedIn, or other social networking sites during the hours you’ve designated for work. If you’re a business owner, work with these tools during the hours you’ve designated for marketing/business strategy.

While some of us are better at multitasking than others, no one is truly great at it. You can’t divide your attention into that many pieces and still be fully invested in any of them. Divide your time, not your mind! When you implement strategies for efficiency, you not only increase your productivity, you reduce your stress, and might actually reduce the number of hours spent behind your desk!

Franchise Business Owner Transitions to a Career in…

Tuesday, February 1st, 2011

Coach DQ Client Case Study

What was happening in your life when you called Coach DQ?

I owned a few fitness franchises and was working as a regional developer the corporate headquarters and was considering a career change. I was referred to Coach DQ by someone I look up to. My friend had recently made a big career transition, and said, “I didn’t make my choices alone. I had the help of a coach.”

At that point, I didn’t even know what a coach did, but coaching had worked for my friend, so I decided to give it a try.

I loved my job, but the company had lost sight of its mission statement, and I felt that its values no longer aligned with my own. The problem was, I wasn’t sure what my own values were, let alone how to use them to construct a plan for shaping a new career. Using her Bridge mapping techniques and other tools, Coach DQ helped me find my core values, articulate my vision, develop a game plan, and much more. Everything suddenly became much clearer.

What was most helpful about the process?

To me, the best part of the process was the accountability. It was a soft accountability, though. Coach DQ wasn’t an enforcer; rather, she was pleasantly persistent. She knew what I needed to do to get where I wanted to go, but also respected the fact that my schedule can be very hectic at times. Instead of pushing me, and trying to establish concrete goals and deadlines for my progress, she just put ideas out there and let me run with them. In this way, she was able to keep me on track and moving forward at what felt like a natural, rather than a regimented, pace.

What have you accomplished since working with Coach DQ? What was the “end result” of your coaching experience?

Well, the “results” are still in the works. But I’ve been able to establish a clear vision for my future, and I feel good about the direction in which I’m moving. Currently, I’m in the negotiating process working feverishly to bring things to a close. I also have two exciting new opportunities in the fire. Although the loose ends have yet to be wrapped up, I know my results are right there, waiting for me.

I feel that Coach DQ’s methods and assistance allowed me to create positive shifts in my professional life in a much more organized, systematic, and effective way than I would have been able to implement on my own.

Effective Networking Strategies, Part 2

Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

Last week, we looked at how to categorize your networking contacts in a way that works for you. Now, let’s talk about how you can follow up effectively with your new contacts. I’ll use my system as an example, since it works well for me, and you can use these ideas to develop your own system.

Meeting people at networking functions is the easy part, since everyone is there for the same purpose; it’s staying in touch with them after that can be challenging. This is where many people get nervous, unsure what the boundaries are and how to be assertive without being a pain in the neck.

The initial contact. After I categorize my new contacts into Contact Sphere, Joint Venture, Friendly Competition, and Potential Clients, I take the time to follow up with everyone via e-mail within one week. I have a form e-mail that I’ve created specifically for this, with blank fields I can fill in with personalized details. I’ll mention where and when I met the person, recall details of our conversation, and remind them of who I am.

In this e-mail, I clearly invite the person to sign up for my newsletter, connect with me on LinkedIn, or respond via e-mail (or all three). Some people take the liberty of adding new contacts to their e-mail lists right away; often, they’ll send the new contact an e-mail with a note explaining that “I’ve added you to my newsletter/mailing list/blog, but I won’t be offended if you unsubscribe.”

Getting to know you. Once you have a reply, you might consider scheduling a phone call or face-to-face meeting with your new contact to chat about possibilities for this connection. Or, you might simply connect with them on LinkedIn. However, before you take the easy way out, remember that people are 10 times more likely to remember a face-to-face conversation than they are a virtual one, and 5 times more likely to remember a phone conversation than an e-mail. In other words, it’s not just connecting, but how you connect that matters.

When I meet someone face to face for coffee or lunch, I always take the time to send a handwritten thank you note I had made with my logo on it.

Connect on LinkedIn. LinkedIn is a great resource because it allows to you see, at a glance, your new connection’s contact sphere. If there’s someone in that sphere who you think would be helpful to you, you can ask your new contact for an introduction. Now that we’re doing things virtually, asking for this favor isn’t as much of an imposition as it once was. However, I’ve had more success calling the contact first and ask them how well they know the contact and let them know you will be sending an introduction request via linkedin. If you are doing this and you are not getting responses, it’s either because your contact doesn’t know the person well enough to refer you, or your contact is not really active on linkedin. Or people are just plain busy and it’s not a priority, don’t take it personal, it’s not about you. Pick up the phone and follow up. I believe it was Jeffrey Gitomer, who said 75% of sales happen after the 6th call.

Stay in touch. People have to see something 21 times before it sticks in their mind. This is why television advertising is so effective. The same principle applies here: the more times your new contact sees your name in print or on screen, the more likely they are to think of you when something in your field comes their way.

One question that often arises is that of persistence. How many times should you try to reach out to a contact before you give them up for lost? The answer is… It depends.

Networking doesn’t have to be hard work, make if fun. Out of ten people I reached out to last week, only one replied directly to me via e-mail. I followed up with the group again and ended up meeting four others in person, which led to three more introductions.

As a recruiter, I pursued Fidelity Investments for a year and a half before I won the contract able to place my people in their in-house advertising department. They kept having turnover and everytime I had a new contact, three months later, someone else was in charge. I ended up placing their highest-paid Creative Director at the time. A few years later, my contact who use to work at Fidelity, searched my name on line and called me looking for help and complimenting on what I did job I did back then.

How many times you follow up is a matter of personal choice. I usually send two or three e-mails and/or phone calls to potential contacts after I meet them. If I don’t hear something from them — an invitation to connect on LinkedIn, an e-mail, a note on Facebook — I tear up their business card. After all, there’s persistence, and then there’s wasting your time.

If you need help sorting through the networking process, feel free to give me a call. After all, I’ve been there. You might even drop me into your contact sphere!
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Are You Maximizing Your Networking Efforts

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

One of the more common questions my clients ask me these days is, “How can I become a more effective networker?”

Often, people go to networking meeting and functions, pass out and collect dozens of business cards, and then aren’t sure where to go from there. Some of the issues I’ve heard are:

“I feel funny about following up; I don’t want to feel like I’m bugging this person.”
“I can’t remember where I met this person, but their services and web site look really interesting, and I want to connect.”
“I want to connect with this person on LinkedIn but I don’t think they’ll remember me.”
“I don’t want to waste my time and theirs if our connection doesn’t go anywhere.”
“How can I become a better networker?”

If you’re feeling stuck around how to handle your networking contacts, I invite you to try the sorting process I use. You can modify this system to make it work for you and your business or job search. The first thing you’ll need to do is to develop a sorting system. If your office drawer is full of business cards you have no idea how you came by, sorting will be very important to you. Sorting also allows you to hone in on the contacts that will benefit you the most, while weeding out those that you have less interest in pursuing.

When I go to a networking event and someone hands me a business card, I immediately hand-write on the back of the card the date I met this person, the function we met at, and something about the person that struck me. That way, whenever I look at the card I have a clear recollection of receiving it. When I get back to my desk, I sort the cards and contact information into several categories.

Contact Sphere (also called Center of Influence): These are people to whom I can envision myself referring clients in the future, or people whose businesses might potentially generate clients for me. For example, I recently added a business evaluator to my contact sphere; he’ll be a great resource for my entrepreneurial clients. Another example: if you’re a chiropractor, your contact sphere might include massage therapists, personal injury lawyers, contractors, or officers in local trades unions.

Joint Venture: These are people with whom I can see myself potentially creating a joint venture; people whose services and values complement my own. They might be potential guests on the radio show, or help me with cross-promotion.

Friendly competition: These are people in the same field or similar fields to you, with whom you might be interested in connecting. If they’re willing, these people make good resources, and can lend an objective ear when you need one.

Potential Clients: These are people who have expressed interest in my services and/or who might potentially benefit from my services.

When you get back from a networking meeting, take the time to sort the cards you’ve acquired into these four categories (or the categories you’ve developed to suit your targets). You might create a separate binder or file for each list, or make a spreadsheet. Then, decide which contacts to prioritize, and which you’re less interested in cultivating or adding to your database. (I learned this the hard way and just put everyone in my database, years later I am still cleaning it up.) Then, you’ll be ready to move on to the next step, following up — which we’ll explore next week. Stay tuned.
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Over-Performing

Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

The other day, I was at a networking group meeting, and one of the officers asked me if I’d like to take on an ambassadorship. “You’ve got a great background in recruiting, and we could really use your help to generate new membership,” she said. “You’re exactly what we need.”
And she was right. I was a perfect fit for the job. But I didn’t want it, and I told her so.

The next day, the President of the group called me personally, to ask again if I’d take the ambassadorship. I told him no, too. “Thanks for the opportunity,” I said, “But it’s my time, and I need to spend it on other things right now.” Don’t get me wrong — my networking group is important to me. I value the relationships I’ve built there, and we really could use a boost in membership. But is it more important than my time with my daughter and husband? Or my time with my clients? Or the time I spend exercising and taking care of myself? Because hours in one of these areas would have to be sacrificed in order to make time for the ambassadorship — or, I could allot a very small number of hours to the networking group, do a half-assed job, and leave everyone dissatisfied. So as much as I would have liked to say yes, I had to say no.
I can’t tell you how many years it’s taken me to learn this lesson.

If you’re the type of person who likes to say yes, you are probably also the type of person who wakes up in the middle of the night, thinking, “How the heck am I going to get all of this done?” “Why did I commit to doing this?” Time is one thing that we can’t make more of, and if yours is already scheduled to the hilt, you may be suffering from a serious case of over-performing.

Here’s a perfect example: One of my clients recently took a new job, in part because there was so much pressure at her old job. She took a pay cut in her new position, and was determined to find more balance. She’s a self-admitted perfectionist, and now, after only 90 days in the job, she’s coming close to the point of burnout. Turns out, she can’t do her best every day in the number of hours she’d scheduled for work, because she over committed to too many initiatives, so she’s pulling hours from home, family, and herself. The fact that she wants to do her best is commendable, but she’s back in the same position she was in at her last job, and working for a lot less money.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Call it self-competition. Once we’ve established ourselves as performers at a certain level, we believe we always need to perform at that level. Worse, we feel that we need to continually get better, and do more. We never want to be at a level with the bar — even if we set the bar ourselves. What’s more, we don’t take time to revel in our achievements. Once we finish a project, rather than sitting back and basking in the warm glow of pride, we immediately move on to the next thing, and the bar is raised yet again. I know this because I did it for years and now it’s easy for me to recognize in my clients.

If you’re in search of balance, ask yourself a few questions. Listen carefully to the answers that arise. You might even make this a journaling exercise. (If you automatically replied, “I don’t have time for that!” ask yourself what could possibly be a more important use of your time than YOU.)

Why do you feel you need to say yes to every project that comes your way?
What do you feel that you’ll lose or jeopardize by saying no?
Who are you competing with?
What goal is being served by your over-achievement? Is there a light at the end of this tunnel?
Does having free time make you uncomfortable? Why?

Answer these five questions honestly, and the answers might change your life.
After offering my apologies to the president of my networking group, I hung up the phone with a smile. Any guilt I felt was immediately erased when I looked at the picture of my daughter I keep on my desk. She’s the biggest reason for balance in my life, and my best insurance against over-performing.
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WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG OR WEBSITE? Please do, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Dawn Quesnel, CPCC, PCC, known as Coach DQ, is a professional coach, radio show host and workshop leader. Through the use of her B.R.I.D.G.E. programs she helps marketing, advertising, and creative entrepreneurs navigate career or business transition while maintaining a healthy career-life balance. Her core belief that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, consistently leads clients to uncover hidden resources and strengths. B.R.I.D.G.E. the gap and accelerate your career so you can love your life now! Visit www.CareerLifeBalance.net or http://www.coachdq.com today or for more information email me.

“A 42 Year Old Problem Had Been Holding Me Back.”

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010

Client Case Study conducted by Bryna Rene

What was the problem/situation which drew you to Coach DQ’s services? What specific issues did you address?
The first issue was pretty personal; a forty-two-year-old problem that had been holding me back. At the time, I had the option to take a job which was similar to what I’d been doing, but I’d been working on my business at the same time. I needed to decide where to put my efforts, but I had a blockage around the most logical area (my business) and I wasn’t moving forward.

We broke through that old issue fairly quickly. But once that was resolved, we realized that I was dealing with an underlying fear of success. After some delving, we realized that a portion of that fear was coming from the people around me, and we worked on that. Then, we discovered that I wasn’t creating the right pictures in my mind around my business success, and we practiced guided visualization.

Working through each successive problem during the coaching process is like dealing with weighted lines or hooks that are attached to you, and that slow you down. Every time one of those weights is cut away, you can move forward less encumbered. That doesn’t mean that next week you won’t find a new hook, or another hindrance, but the process frees you up and helps you progress faster. It’s a matter of lightening the load. That’s what Dawn really does: she begins with what you think you want to do, then through a succession of probes and revelations helps you figure out if you really want it, or if you’re afraid of it, or if you’re unclear about it. That, to me, was particularly notable about her style, and something I was not necessarily expecting.

What was the best part of the coaching experience for you?
I think that the most valuable part of this process was Dawn’s insight into underlying historical personal experiences that were holding me back. She was persistent about making me recognize and deal with things that had happened in my past which prevented me from moving forward. Delving into those painful past experiences is something I think a lot of people shy away from, but in my case those past experiences were clearly the biggest contributor to my inability to move forward.

Also, while much of the process was more generalized, at times Dawn got extremely specific with me. She’d say, “You’re going to go to two networking events this week,” or, “You’re going to make three phone calls.” If problems arose for me while we were executing our plan, we were able to discuss specifically the issues I was running into, which in turn would reveal misconceptions or blockages on my part — those hooks and weights, weighing me down. At times, I was shocked at how many weights I was carrying, and how different they all were from one another. The process really became a case of untangling and sorting out my fears and inhibitions.

What was the most challenging part of the coaching experience for you?
I think I’m not unusual in that I get excited about setting goals and doing exercises while I’m on the phone with Dawn. The feeling lasts for a day or so, but sustaining that resolve to tackle my problems is my biggest challenge. I have to work hard to stay focused and not slip back into old habits. Also, it’s challenging not to start second-guessing the plans we work together to put in place.

Was the issue you originally intended to work on resolved through your coaching sessions?
Yes, the particular issue I’d contacted her about in the beginning was resolved almost immediately. But once you move one thing out of the way, you realize that there are a hundred more things there to be dealt with!

What was the outcome of your work with Coach DQ? Did it meet your expectations?
Absolutely. I was very impressed with Dawn’s blend of “standard” career coaching methodologies such as e-marketing, networking, using LinkedIn, developing niche markets, getting clear on goals and directions, and other things like that. But it’s the combination of those methods with a really intuitive side that makes her so effective. She has the ability to squeeze in between the rocks of your protective walls and poke around in your not-so-obvious issues.

Sometimes I think particularly strong people put up particularly strong walls — but that doesn’t mean there aren’t just as many rotting vegetables behind the walls! Dawn is good at sniffing out problem that aren’t even obvious to me, and that is really important in terms of my being able to make progress.

Dawn Quesnel, CPCC, PCC, known as Coach DQ, is a professional coach, radio show host and workshop leader. Through the use of her B.R.I.D.G.E. programs she helps marketing, advertising, and creative entrepreneurs navigate career or business transition while maintaining a healthy career-life balance. Her core belief that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, consistently leads clients to uncover hidden resources and strengths. B.R.I.D.G.E. the gap and accelerate your career so you can love your life now! http://www.coachdq.com

Bad Hair Day?

Tuesday, December 14th, 2010

“Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands…if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy — because we will always want to have something else or something more.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

I don’t know about you, but I feel like I have a lot to be thankful for this year.
Eight years after opening Career Life Balance, I finally have more balance more in my life. With the exception of a few bad hair days

This year, I finally had the opportunity to prove to myself that you can be a good mother, run a successful business, and keep a household afloat all at the same time. (Something we don’t give ourselves enough credit for it and that goes for both men & women! Thankfully my hubby and I make a great team!) I had to make some sacrifices in order to achieve this, but in the end, they didn’t feel like sacrifices at all.

I learned to have fewer balls in the air at once and am much better with flexing my No Muscle. Below are some more things I accomplished this year. I’m profoundly grateful that I have had the opportunity to make these things happen for myself, my clients, my business, and my family. I know that gratitude will stay with me throughout 2011.

DQ’s (partial) Gratitude List

I am grateful that I was able to…

• Connected with many old friends on Facebook — Many trips down memory lane 

• Get away with just me and Hubby
• Host Radio Show once per month verses once per week
• Launch “BrainTalk” Radio with Co-Host Tara Crawford Roth
• Serve on the Board of Directors for International Coach Federation – New England
• Hire a new assistant (Hooray!)
• Hire Video Editor & Business Coach
• Be a guest on Career, Money & Manifesting
• Guest Host Employment For All TV Show
• Take a grammar class
• Give LinkedIn Job Strategy Classes
• Teach many “Baby Boomers” how to use social media tools to land a position
• Learn from my amazing clients
• Conduct a very helpful Branding Assessment
• Go skiing with the girls
• Start work on our master garden
• Foster an 8 Year old boy  sad to see him go
• Do a women’s retreat
• Buy a new car
• Take 4 weeks vacation
• Help support the launch of several new client businesses
• Coach many into new jobs and careers
• Help clients negotiate higher salaries/offers
• Contribute to three upcoming books, including 101 Ways to Enhance Your Career (published by selfgrowth.com).
• Host a gluten-free Thanksgiving at my house
• And best of all… Finally closer to adopting our incredible daughter!

One of the best things you can do when you’re feeling stuck or stymied is to make a list of things you’re grateful for. Whether they’re things you own, things you’ve accomplished, relationships you’ve preserved (or ended), or emotional connections you’ve made, these accomplishments are the true measure of your efforts. Overachievers don’t get caught up in what you haven’t done: you have the rest of your life to meet those goals. Remember that you have created the ground you stand on — so stand tall and be proud! Do this exercise for yourself and share what you are grateful for. We love hearing from you, share your comments below!

CoachDQ

Posts Tagged ‘career coaching’

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